Before Discovery—your wonderful, ordinary, and precious life
After Discovery—a freefall into the unknown
In the middle—a most intimate cruelty
Where is this man you loved so completely? It’s like he’s been kidnapped and someone else is wearing his skin and living his life—with you and your children!
Devastated, traumatized, and reeling from the pain that comes wave after wave, most women still are ready to roll up their sleeves and do whatever they are told will get him back.
But who do you get back? The person you thought he was, or the person he turned out to be?
Whatever path you choose, now is not the time to accept your life or your children’s lives as lesser priorities to his. That’s his script that got you to this place. Shut that down. Do what you would want your children to do if it happened to them. Roll up your sleeves and put yourself and your children first, because nobody else is.
If he really loves you and loves them, it’s what he knows is right. By doing it, you hold space for the best outcome possible. Remember, your care is not based on his. It’s based on what you and your children need.
My name is Diane Strickland, and I’ve been there. It’s safe to talk with me about this mess. If you aren’t sure how I can support you, here’s a partial list of popular client session topics:
Finding the words to inform those who need to know while minimizing the risk of harmful and ignorant remarks.
Finding the age appropriate way to let children know as much they need to know, without setting yourself up for more harm.
Communicating effectively with sex addiction treatment staff about your priorities for yourself and for your children.
Empowering yourself and your children with simple tools to lessen or even eliminate trauma symptoms and additional life distress.
I can’t seem to do anything. It’s terrifying. Where did I go? I’m a complete mess. How can I get through this?
How to stop donating and start negotiating: it’s a relationship not a charity.
I just need to tell this story to someone who will actually understand it and not blame me for it or tell me to get over it.
Playing the forgiveness card vs. the authentic grounded spiritual practice of offering and receiving forgiveness.
Dealing with 12-step: when he uses his “new” secret life to abuse you further.
Self-love isn’t just another thing at which to fail. It’s the way forward and you can do it even if you never have before.
Learn what adult trauma assessment includes and what a basic tri-phasic model for trauma care means so you can find the right help for yourself.
Simple tools to check in with your children’s wellbeing and learn when additional support may be needed.
Learning about the Big Boundary Bluff—when his treatment group know he will continue to violate basic adult relational expectations so they put you in charge of fixing it.
What to expect when covert/emotional incest grows up and you marry into it.
Who should you believe and what kind of hope is being served?
Preparing healthy and positive resources for children to have for any emergent discussions of their father/stepfather’s behaviors.
Managing relationships with adult children who sometimes treat you with cruelty and disrespect.
“I will never be a victim!” But it’s already too late. Only you can end it by becoming a survivor and learning to be the heroine of your own life.
Learning about his current and predictable behaviors so you can cope and protect yourself.
Learning to use holistic process for making good decisions in a bad situation.
What does effective participation in separation negotiations, mediation, court appearances, and other court-ordered processes include?
Where to Begin?
I created everything here for wives and partners of men called sex addicts, drawing on my lived experience, my education and training, and my work with hundreds of women like us. I’m also paying attention to the children in the family and how their lives are traumatized. Whether you want to start with the free videos, booking a trial session for one of the topics listed above, ordering resources, reading my free weekly blog, or learning more about me and my approach--I created the things I wished I had when I was in your position.
Brand New Resource:
Unexpected Prayers for an Unexpected Life
Book an Appointment
to Talk with Diane--She's Safe.
Choose Resources Created
With You in Mind
Check Out Diane's
that delivers some of these resources, as well as others that might interest you
From My Life to Yours,