Healing Begins

I don’t know about you, but I’m still processing the two lists that formed the core of the last two blogs—and I wrote them! There is no “light and breezy” way to name what we have endured and how it impacts us. It’s abuse. That means it’s ugly and it leaves a mark.

Today I want to share a few of the ways I have put myself back together and grown into more than I was before this nightmare began. I live a good life. Yes, it is a diminished life. I lost a great deal and live with many challenges because of the never-ending impact of PTSD. But my life also is much richer because I chose to live the rest of my life differently. You can do this too, in your own way. This blog will help you begin.

Read More
self-careDiane Stricklandhealing, partners are priority, your strength, recovering for real, loving yourself
Intimate Partner Abuse: How Does It Impact You?

Intimate Partner Abuse by men called sex addicts is a taboo topic for the treatment industry and religious-based recovery programs and practitioners. Your response to last week’s blog, however, tells me it’s a topic long overdue for attention. Thank you for your feedback and additional items for the list.

Today I’m talking about the impact and consequences from the abuse we have endured. It’s not a pretty list, either, so please take care of yourself as you read it. Pace yourself. Use mindfulness coping strategies, tapping, and self-soothing strategies along the way. And if your symptoms need urgent attention seek professional help or call a crisis helpline for women.

Read More
Post-traumatic stress, self-careDiane Stricklandpartners are priority, wives and partners pay the price, bearing witness, patriarchal assumptions, telling the truth of your life, tell your story, therapeutic incompetence, intimate partner abuse, intimate partner violence
How Men Called Sex Addicts Abuse Their Wives and Partners

After discovery many wives and partners are too traumatized to recognize themselves as victims of abuse. Enter the treatment industry who calls all of it his “sex addiction,” instead. For most of us, that’s a whole lot better than being a victim of abuse. I was sucked so quickly into the “sex addiction” alibi that it took me a while to back my way out. But back my way out, I did, as what I was reading and hearing from the sex addiction treatment industry just stopped making sense.

Along the way I started a list—a list of the offences women face from these men called “sex addicts”. We experience physical, spiritual, emotional, financial and psychological harm that no one seems to name. I realized that if any parishioner came in my office with even some of these signs, I would have concluded she was in an abusive relationship. My first concern would have been for her safety. Only in this farce of a treatment industry is that long list of abuse set aside and replaced with the two words “sex addiction”. Actually, they don’t even bother making a list.

Read More
Diane Stricklandsex addicts are abusers, partners look after themselves, therapeutic incompetence, telling the truth about him, telling the truth of your life, saving yourself, domestic violence of sex addiction, wives and partners pay the price, sex addicts hurt women
Searching for Your Life and What It Means

After dday I was immobilized in the wreckage of three decades of my life. Suddenly, there were huge gaps in time I tried desperately to close. I would shut my eyes and go inside myself—searching for the missing pieces, like remembering my boys as babies and little children—anything to confirm those thirty years weren’t a total fabrication. Time and time again nothing would come. Even though I was married for 32 years, there was nothing left to remember. It was disorienting and heartbreaking. My life as a mother with children was gone completely and I didn’t know if I would ever get it back.

Read More
Diane Stricklandafter discovery, dday