Posts tagged tell your story
Intimate Partner Abuse: How Does It Impact You?

Intimate Partner Abuse by men called sex addicts is a taboo topic for the treatment industry and religious-based recovery programs and practitioners. Your response to last week’s blog, however, tells me it’s a topic long overdue for attention. Thank you for your feedback and additional items for the list.

Today I’m talking about the impact and consequences from the abuse we have endured. It’s not a pretty list, either, so please take care of yourself as you read it. Pace yourself. Use mindfulness coping strategies, tapping, and self-soothing strategies along the way. And if your symptoms need urgent attention seek professional help or call a crisis helpline for women.

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Mid-week Gotta Share from PoSARC

Lili Bee and her team at www.posarc.com have launched their second video set in their “Survivors” series. It features Tania Rochelle talking about her journey out of darkness into the light of new day in her life—where hope, joy, meaningful work, laughter and love all thrive in a life where she is safe from domestic violence endured from her compulsive-abusive sexual-relational disordered man. You can view Parts 1 & 2 here: http://www.posarc.com/blog Lili Bee writes an introduction and then if you scroll down you can see the videos there. Enjoy!

And here’s the link to the “Starting Over” post that Tania guest-blogged here on her new life, in case you haven’t read that one yet: https://www.yourstoryissafehere.com/blog/startingover

THANK YOU LILI BEE AND THE POSARC TEAM FOR THESE GREAT VIDEOS. THANK YOU TANIA, FOR OPENING UP YOUR LIFE TO SO MANY WOMEN!

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Trying To Do The Right Thing

We are women of integrity and caring. We think about the wellbeing of others, even when those others have hurt us. Our high level core values are real. They inspire us, guide us and constrain us. We may rant and cry and swear about the cruelty visited upon us by the person we loved and their treatment gang, but when push comes to shove it’s very hard for us to make a decision without asking “What is the right thing to do here?”

 It’s ironic. This is the very question about which our men called sex addicts have no concerns and never ask as they overtly and covertly abuse us (and sometimes our children, too). The core values that would give this question voice are not values that hold their lives together and interpret what their lives mean.

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To Have and To Hold, How the Sex Addiction Treatment Industry Uses Wives and Partners

When I asked Tania Rochelle to take this blog, neither of us could foresee the week’s events and the toll they would take on so many women. Today Tania opens her life to us, sharing what she lived through and her choice to honor her truth and save her life. Thank you, Tania.

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Therapists and Tone Policing

Last week I listened to some podcasts that a male “sex addiction expert” produced. They feature some of the more progressive female voices in the still-prevailing mainstream of partner care. This particular male “sex addiction expert” is re-marketing himself as an advocate for women and the partner experience. But he still can’t help but complain about wives and partners who present "angry."

    Is this starting to sound or feel familiar? We're too angry? I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it with therapists who default to tone policing when you finally share what your husband or boyfriend did to you and the destructive impact that has had on your life. This therapist, like so many of these cookie cutter treatment practitioners, uses our anger as his excuse for not hearing the story we tell—a story that might compromise the assumptions that keep that misogynist treatment model humming along making money. So, instead, when faced with the reality and the potential for women’s anger, sex addiction therapists become the “tone police."

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