Posts tagged partners are priority
Healing Begins

I don’t know about you, but I’m still processing the two lists that formed the core of the last two blogs—and I wrote them! There is no “light and breezy” way to name what we have endured and how it impacts us. It’s abuse. That means it’s ugly and it leaves a mark.

Today I want to share a few of the ways I have put myself back together and grown into more than I was before this nightmare began. I live a good life. Yes, it is a diminished life. I lost a great deal and live with many challenges because of the never-ending impact of PTSD. But my life also is much richer because I chose to live the rest of my life differently. You can do this too, in your own way. This blog will help you begin.

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Intimate Partner Abuse: How Does It Impact You?

Intimate Partner Abuse by men called sex addicts is a taboo topic for the treatment industry and religious-based recovery programs and practitioners. Your response to last week’s blog, however, tells me it’s a topic long overdue for attention. Thank you for your feedback and additional items for the list.

Today I’m talking about the impact and consequences from the abuse we have endured. It’s not a pretty list, either, so please take care of yourself as you read it. Pace yourself. Use mindfulness coping strategies, tapping, and self-soothing strategies along the way. And if your symptoms need urgent attention seek professional help or call a crisis helpline for women.

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What Kind of Primary Relationship Does the Treatment Industry Have in Mind for You?

Are you wondering when someone in the treatment program is going to advocate and act for your interests? I’m talking about basic stuff—like what you need to know right now about his sexual and sexualized activities, or responding to your concerns that having him around right now makes you hypervigilant and unable to function, or asking them to recognize that blaming you for his behaviours is particularly heinous, etc.

Well, I hope you are wearing comfortable shoes. It will be a long wait.

The relationship paradigm underneath the prevailing treatment program (as with the many religious groups involved with recovery programs for men called sex addicts) is based on the man’s best interests being served first, foremost, always. It’s not a temporary therapeutic priority. It’s permanent. You don’t get an adult back as a life partner. You get a treatment industry approved non-adult project. And often a mean one, at that.

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Mid-week Gotta Share~Retreats Just For YOU!

Tania Rochelle, MS LPC NCC (and most importantly—a guest blogger here!) has launched her website, https://sweetwaterretreats.com and her FB page Sweetwater Retreats. Of particular interest is that she is offering three retreats for wives and partners of sex addicts in three different locations. Registration is limited to eight. As well as being a licensed counsellor and teacher, Tania is a publisher writer who uses all her training to develop tools to treat our trauma symptoms. She is a great listener and will be there for you. Also, every participant will receive a follow-up session with me that is included in the retreat fees. Check out the dates and locations here: https://sweetwaterretreats.com/ Scroll down the homepage for retreat fees and dates.

You also might know Tania from Episode 2, Part 1 of PoSARC’s Survivor series. Lili Bee talks with Tania about her experience extricating herself from her life with a man called a sex addict (not once but twice!) and how she is enjoying a life of freedom now, as well as a new relationship that is positively different from the one she left behind. You can watch that video on http://www.posarc.com/ home page. Just scroll down past a few other videos and there it is!

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